


Bitter Sweet Symphony

by TeekiJane



Series: The Boys of Summer [29]
Category: Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 08:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeekiJane/pseuds/TeekiJane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam learns one last life lesson from Tiffany—the girl he thought he was going to save.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter Sweet Symphony

_Well I never pray_  
_But tonight I’m on my knees, yeah_  
_I need some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah_  
The Verve, Bitter Sweet Symphony

**Adam**

I was the only one home one afternoon. The day before had been the final day of day camp, and I was so glad. Good riddance to other people’s kids. I’d flopped down on the couch and been so aimless that I’d decided to try playing one of Nick’s video games. It was either that or go to my bedroom. I’d been avoiding that. 

I wasn’t in the mood to deal with the ghost of Jordan. 

I missed him more than I’d expected. He’d always just been there and I’d always taken that for granted. I was betting that things would get easier soon: just eight more days, and then Mom and I were headed off to Ohio. (Dad would be taking Byron down to North Carolina the same day.) Once everything was new and different and interesting, I’d mourn the loss of his presence a lot less. At least, I hoped so. 

Nick’s video game wasn’t just distracting me; it was pissing me off. I couldn’t figure out how to work it. It was a lot more complicated than shooting at aliens or pressing a bunch of random buttons and hoping they made my fighter do something decent. I’d just given up and thrown the controller across the room when I heard chuckling from the bottom of the stairs. “That bad, huh?” 

I turned to look at Mallory. “The game or my life?” I asked her. 

She sat down on the far side of the couch. She was home early from work, but she was wearing her work-style clothes: a pair of khakis, a button-down short-sleeved blouse and sandals. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail, but large chunks of it were escaping. “Well,” she began, picking at one sandal until the strap came undone and it fell off, “I wasn’t going to bring it up, but you have looked kind of unhappy the last couple weeks.” 

I watched as she took the other shoe off and then curled her feet up under her butt. “Yeah, well, my whole summer has blown monkey balls,” I summarized. 

Mal gave me a stare, trying to size me up. After a moment, she shook her head. “Harsh words,” she commented. I nodded. That was true, but it was accurate to how I felt. “What’s been so terrible about it?” 

I _really_ didn’t want to tell her. I didn’t really want even a single other person in the universe to know how the past few weeks had gone. “You wouldn’t understand,” I said with a shake of my head. 

Mallory was quiet for a moment. “I understand a lot more than you know, Adam,” she said, sounding a little indignant. “You don’t know unless you try me.” 

“It’s about sex.” That slipped out without me intending to say it. 

Mal laughed. “You think I don’t understand about sex?” she asked in surprise. I shrugged at her. She never mentioned guys ever. Actually, I wouldn’t have been surprised if _she’d_ been the one to come out of the closet, quite frankly. “Let me ask you a question, Adam,” she said, and she was smiling a smile I didn’t like. “How many people have all three of you triplets slept with, all together?” 

“What?” 

“Just answer the question. I’ll explain.” 

I looked at her, disgusted. How had we come to be having this conversation, exactly? “One,” I admitted. 

She looked thoughtful. “Only one. Really?” I nodded. “And you’re the one, am I right?” I nodded again. “When I was your age, I’d been with two different guys. Now, I’m at three. You think I don’t know about sex?” 

Well, that was a surprise. I guess it was just a lot easier for her to keep quiet about her sex life when she was away at school and didn’t have all of us nosing into her business 365 days a year. “Ever had a pregnancy scare?” I asked her. 

It was her turn to be surprised. “No. I’ve been very careful and very lucky, I guess. Why? Did Tiffany think she was pregnant?” 

I lay back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling, rather than at her. There was a pencil stuck in it that Jordan had thrown there when we were ten. We’d agreed to never point it out and see how long it took for one of our parents to notice it or for it to fall down. Eight years later, it was still there. “She _is_ pregnant,” I admitted, still gazing upward. 

Mal didn’t even try to hide her shock. “Adam,” she began, her mouth hanging open. 

I cut her off before she could give me any sympathy or anything else. “Don’t worry about me, Mal,” I said. “It’s not mine. She’s been pregnant this whole time.” 

Her mouth was still open for a moment longer before she regained her composure. “She was pregnant when she came over for the party?” I nodded, not telling her that Tiffany had thought that was actually when she’d gotten pregnant in the first place. “Did she know?” 

I shook my head. “Long story short, I thought it was mine for a while. But the dates just didn’t work out.” 

Mal pulled her feet back out from underneath her and put them on the cushion between us. “Poor Tiffany. How’s she holding up?” 

I sighed. “I’m giving her some space. She said she needed to get her life in order and it was something she needed to do on her own.” 

Mallory nodded. “That’s gotta be tough for her.” I nodded back. “Well, how are you holding up?” 

I slumped a little bit. “I should be feeling better than I am. I mean, I cheated God, right? I’m _not_ going to be a father. I should be celebrating…or at least feeling relieved.” 

Mal completed my thought for me. “But you don’t.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what that is. Maybe you’re just feeling bad for Tiff.” 

I thought about that a moment. I definitely felt for Tiff—not only was she going to go through with the pregnancy—something she didn’t plan for and didn’t appear to want—but she didn’t have too many people standing behind her. “Well, it’s not like I was in _love_ with her or anything. But I do wish her well, no matter what.” 

“Maybe you should stop by and see her one more time before you go off to school. Put a little closure to the situation.” I just grunted at her and she rolled her eyes. “Or ignore me all together. After all, what do _I_ know about anything?” I didn’t reply to that, so she changed the subject. “So, have you heard from Jordan? How’s he holding up?” 

I became instantly crankier. I actually hadn’t heard from Jordan at all. “I’m sure he’s just fine.” 

Mal looked at me sideways. “That’s not what I heard.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked away, sulking like a small child. Mallory’s expression changed. “Oh. You don’t know yet,” she assumed with surprise. 

“Don’t know what?” She was starting to annoy me. 

“Margo answered the phone yesterday and it was Jordan on the other end. She said she could barely understand him.” She leaned over towards me, watching my expression. 

“So?” I didn’t get where this was going. “Did he have a cold, or does he already have a Florida accent?” 

“No,” Mal didn’t stop watching me. “He was crying. So I talked to Byron, and he said that Jordan and Haley broke up.” 

That made twice in one conversation she’d surprised me. The way those two were going, I expected them to at least think they could make a long distance relationship work, no matter how stupid it was. I knew Haley must have been the one behind the split for two reasons. First, Jordan wouldn’t have been crying on the phone to Mom if it had been his idea. Second, every third word out of his mouth for about a year and a half had been _Haley_. He even talked about her in his sleep, for Christ’s sake. “He hadn’t mentioned that,” I told her. I suddenly understood why he hadn’t been in touch. Given how strong his feelings were, I imagined he was sorta depressed. 

Mal stood up and gave me another look. “Think about what I said, okay? And if you want to talk, I’ll be in my room.” 

“Sure, thanks.” I had no intention of going to Mal’s room for another talk, but it was easier to humor her. Besides, I didn’t really need to talk to her any further. She’d given me enough of a hint. I went back upstairs and found the phone charger empty. I searched the most logical place to find it, and sure enough, it was on Margo’s bed. I picked it out from among the mess of clothes and left my sisters’ room entirely, instead popping into Nick and Byron’s room. 

It was a hot mess. Byron had pulled out every drawer and there was stuff everywhere. He was already starting to pack, putting aside piles of what to take and putting everything else back into the drawers. The only place in the whole room that wasn’t messy was Nick’s bed and desk. I sat down on his desk chair and dialed the phone. “Hello?” a familiar voice said. 

“Hi, Maria. Is Tiffany home?” 

“Yup. Let me go get her.” 

She picked up the phone a few seconds later, sounding surprisingly chipper. “Adam! How are you?” 

“Can’t complain.” Obviously, I could complain. I just figured my problems would sound like whines in comparison to hers. “I’m leaving for school in a few days. I was hoping we could get together one last time before I left.” 

I could hear her smile. “Great! There are a few things I want to say to you that would be better in person. Are you free this evening?” 

I looked at my watch. “I think I’m free now, if that’s okay with you. Let me just check and make sure I have the car. I’ll call you back if it’s not happening, okay?” She agreed to that and we hung up. 

I left the phone on its cradle and, despite my previous protests, I went downstairs to Mal’s room. I knocked and she opened the door almost instantly, looking surprised to see me. “Do you need the car right now? I asked. 

She gave a self-satisfied smile, realizing I was taking her advice. “No. But I’m pretty sure Byron has to work tonight.” 

I nodded. “I’ll be back in time.” 

***

Tiffany was sitting out front when I arrived, same as she had been the day I’d picked her up for our appointment. The difference, though, was stunning. She didn’t seem tearful and upset, but instead she smiled as I pulled up. “Adam. It’s good to see you,” she said as I gave her a hug. 

“Good to see you, too. You look much happier than you did the last time I saw you.” 

“I feel much better than I did that day.” She squeezed my arm and then let me go. “Do you want to go inside, or sit out here?” 

“It’s not too hot today. Let’s sit out here.” We plopped down in the grass, same as we had done in the park when she’d told me she was pregnant. “What’s changed for you?” 

She turned her face to the sun and smiled again. Suddenly, she was the girl she’d been when we were younger—the first time we’d dated: she’d had the life returned to her. “Everything. Where do I start?” She twisted her head so that it was still turned up but she was looking at me, sitting beside her. “My mom has been so cool. I expected her to kick me out, or just tell me I was on my own. But she has been absolutely amazing.” 

I was almost as surprised as she was. “That’s great.” 

“Yeah. I think part of it was that she felt like she’d failed me or something, like this was all her fault.” Tiff unfolded her legs and put them out in front of her, leaning back on her hands. “But in any case, she’s on my side. She’s taking me out to get some stuff this weekend.” 

I folded my legs up under me. “What kind of stuff?” I asked. 

“Maternity clothes. My pants don’t fit any more, see?” She pulled her shirt tight around her middle and showed off her belly, which had gotten larger in the past two weeks. I couldn’t believe how round it was. You couldn’t see it unless she showed it off like that, but she definitely had a baby belly. “Plus, we’re going to get a crib and a changing table and a few other things.” 

I was surprised. “You decided to keep the baby?” 

She sat back up. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure at first. I kept going back and forth. But I stopped to think about it. I feel like I was given this for a reason. I wasn’t going anywhere with my life, ya know?” I shook my head, not sure what she meant. “I had no direction. I was going to school, but I didn’t know what I wanted to study. I wasn’t really into it. I didn’t have any plans like you do, and like my sisters do.” She put one hand on her belly and smiled. “But this baby…now I have a purpose. My life’s got direction. I’m going to be someone’s _mom_. I need to figure everything else out so that I can be good at that major role.” 

I felt a little uncomfortable because I didn’t quite relate. I nodded anyway, wanting her to go on. “My whole life is going to revolve around this little man. He’s going to be the center of my universe.” 

I finally smiled. “Or she,” I said. 

She shook her head, her own smile getting bigger. “No, it’s a boy. I had an ultrasound earlier today. I’m getting used to the feel of that gel on my stomach.” We looked at each other briefly and then looked away, remembering how panicked and unhappy we’d felt the last time she’d had an ultrasound. Hard to believe that was only a couple weeks ago. “This time, I got to see the baby wiggling around and moving. He’s already almost a person, Adam. I couldn’t believe how much he looked like a baby. That’s when I decided I definitely was going to keep him. And so they told me they were fairly certain he’s a boy.” 

A baby boy. What if it _had_ been my baby? Would I have been as excited and happy as she seemed to be now? Maybe it wasn’t something I needed to worry about. “That’s great, Tiff,” I commented, glad she was feeling better about herself. 

“Isn’t it? I never thought I’d be happy about something like this. I mean, being a single, teenaged mom is supposed to _ruin_ your life, not make it better. But it’s given me focus. I have to become a better person than I’ve been, for my son’s sake.” Tiffany looked serious for the first time the whole conversation. “I’m already enrolled in some classes for this semester. After that, I’m going to take a semester off and then finish my associates next fall. Then my mom says I can work for her at her real estate office. I can file things for starters and work my way up, and then she’ll help me get a realtor’s license eventually.” 

It had only been two weeks since we’d talked last, yet she’d made such a huge step forward in her life plan. “I’m really proud of you,” I said. 

“What for?” she asked, confused. “I didn’t really do anything.” 

“Yes, you did,” I pointed out. “You talked to your mom, something that has never been your strong point, and admitted something that could have caused a riot in your home. You took control of your life and put together a plan…something else that, by your own admission, isn’t really something you’re good at either.” 

She dismissed that. “That was all because of you.” 

“Nope. I might have given you a tiny nudge, but you were the one who actually took the plunge.” 

Tiff thought for a moment. “I did, didn’t I?” she asked. I nodded at her and she grinned. “But I do need to thank you for a lot of stuff. You were the only person there for me at a time when I needed someone the most. And you _did_ give me that shove. You pointed out so many things to me that should have been obvious but that weren’t.” 

I didn’t usually look at my life that way, but it was really nice seeing it through her eyes. She went on. “The best part is that, now that you’re leaving, I have a whole crew of people standing behind me. I’ve got my mom and my sisters. Hell, even Haley called a couple days after we last spoke. She wanted to know how I was doing.” 

I was surprised once again. I knew Haley had heard about Tiffany and I assumed Jordan had told her about Tiff deciding to go through with everything. “I’m glad you two are getting along,” I commented. 

“I know, right? I guess the one thing I really learned this summer is that we all make mistakes. The key is to forgive other people for as many mistakes as you can, because you want others to do the same for you.” 

Would you know, she was right? I knew I had one person to whom I had to do a little repaying for some things I had said. “Have you spoken to Haley in the past few days?” I asked. Tiff shook her head. “You might want to. I think she can use a shoulder to cry on.” She gave me an odd look and I didn’t blame her. Haley isn’t exactly my favorite person in the universe; there’s been no escaping her presence on a regular basis over the past few years. But she didn’t really deserve a couple comments I’d made about her. “She and Jordan broke up before he left for school.” 

Tiffany made a sympathetic noise. “I’ll call her in the next couple days before school starts,” she vowed. “Meanwhile, I have another conversation coming up that is definitely not going to be pleasant. I still have to tell Eric what’s going on.” I cringed. I’d never met her ex-boyfriend, but I did know that the two of them hadn’t ended things on good terms. “I’ve called him twice, hoping just to get him to return my call. I figure it will be a lot easier to get him to cooperate if I don’t have to let him know he’s going to be a father by sending him a certified letter from my mom’s attorney.” 

We were quiet for a while before she spoke again. “Do you remember when we first met up for coffee and I had a whole list of complaints?” I nodded. “I said I had no friends, my mom never talked to me, my boyfriend cheated on me, my sisters were too busy for me, and I flunked algebra. Well, here we are three months later. I’m on much better terms with my family now. I even talked to my dad for a few minutes, although I didn’t tell him about the baby yet. I spent the summer dating the nicest guy I know.” I couldn’t help but smile when she said that. 

Tiffany took my hand as she continued. “And I’m hoping that, even though you’re going away to school, where you’ll meet a whole bunch of new people, and I’m going to be too busy to even consider a relationship, you’ll continue to stay in touch, and I’ll be able to say I have you as a friend.” 

I squeezed her hand back. “Of course,” I agreed. “After all, I fully expect you to bombard my email with pictures of your son after he’s born.” She lit up and I laughed. “So you’ve resolved most of your problems this summer. What about algebra?” 

Tiff made a face for a moment, but then she smiled again. “Believe it or not,” she said slowly, teasing me, “I passed algebra. Just barely.” 

“Well, I guess you’ve got no more problems, then, huh?” I teased her. 

She viewed me seriously as I stood up. “Of course, I know that raising a child isn’t going to be easy. There are probably going to be days I regret my choices. But as of now, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life.” 

I reached out and took both of her hands and pulled her upright. “I have to go,” I told her sadly, “I have to get the car back by four-forty so that Byron can get to work.” 

Tiff gave me one more hug. “Have fun at school, Adam,” she said seriously. “Take care and be safe.” 

I hugged her back tightly. “I will. You take care of that little man of yours, too.” 

She put one of her hands on her hip and the other on her stomach, jutting her belly forward so it was visible again. “I definitely will. Thanks again for everything.” 

I reached the car and put my hand on the door handle, but I turned back around to face you. “Thank you, too. I don’t know if you realize it, but you taught me more than just about anyone I’ve ever known.” She looked surprised, but I said no more. “Bye, Tiff.” 

“Bye, Adam,” she replied, a little sadly. 

***

I was a little annoyed when I arrived home to discover that Byron didn’t need the car after all. He and Haley had carpooled together. But I got over it pretty quickly. Tiff and I had said everything that needed to be said. Besides, it wasn’t like it had really been goodbye. I knew she was actually going to stay in touch and I was glad about that. 

A large amount of my family was gathered down in the basement, watching a movie. I decided I needed to take a little bit of Tiffany’s initiative. I didn’t go join them down in the rec room, an easy choice. Instead, I went up to my bedroom. Jordan’s bed was still there and still in the half-made state in which he left it. But other than that, it seemed devoid of his presence. He’d taken down his Yankees poster and removed every item off his dresser and desk. In fact, his desk was so empty that I found Margo in front of it, putting things in it. “What are you doing?” I asked her incredulously. 

She sniffed at me. “Mom said that Claire and I have to keep sharing a room, even though this bedroom is going to be empty after you leave. But Jordan told me I could use his desk, since it’s empty.” 

I just couldn’t believe that. Actually, I could, if I was honest about it. I sighed. “Fine. But do me a favor and keep your crap out of my room until I leave for school, okay?” 

Margo rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You sure are cranky.” 

She started to gather up her stuff and I thought about what Tiffany has said. “Margo. Wait.” She looked up. “Never mind. Just go ahead and leave your stuff there. I’m sorry I was so short with you.” 

Margo raised her eyebrows. “You feeling okay, Adam?” She didn’t wait for an answer, just headed out of my room, leaving her box of desk supplies on top of the desk. “I’ll wait until you’re not around to do this. Sorry I surprised you.” 

I waited until she left and looked at her box of girly pens, paper clips and other garbage. I shook my head and went downstairs and to the computer, which had been moved to the living room when Mal had taken over the office. I pulled up my email and started writing. 

To: ct_yankee_fan_00  
From: ladiezman47  
Subject: how is it going?  
Hey man…I heard about you and Haley. Hope you are doing okay. Let me know if you need to talk or anything. I know you’re busy with training right now but drop me a line when you’re free.  
Adam


End file.
